If I Was the Dictator of All Sports

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I am starting a revolution. I am not on a mission to take over sports and change the way our favorites games are played today. Below you will read some of the many ideas I have that can totally change the way sports are played today. Some of my ideas are controversial, to say the least. Some of them are no brainers and slam dunk ideas. Others will make you giggle a little inside. Either way, you WILL be part of the revolution and we will make this happen!

How I Will Revolutionize Sports

  • I would make soccer see the error of its ways. No more stoppage time. When someone is hurt the clock will stop. For god sakes, I need to know when the game is going to end. How excited can you be when you do not get the feeling that your team needs to score RIGHT NOW! Might be the most simple change of all time … a clock with a pause button.
  • Oh man, basketball. What would not I change? I think the first thing we will start off with would be the length of the game. Honestly what is the need for all 4 quarters? Basketball games are decided in the last 5 minutes and the ones that are decided earlier where mortal locks to win anyways. Why go through the pain of watching 3 quarters with a score going back and forth just to find out you could have tuned in for the last 5 minutes. I suggest that we do away with the first 3 quarters and replace them with a 2 mile run where the point differential for the last quarter will be determined by the times of the players running the 2 miles. They will get the same workout as if they were running up and down the court while all the viewers save a little time out of their day.
  • I watch a lot of football and the thing I must get rid of TV timeouts. I realize that the NFL makes money off this, but we need to do something to limit how many times they break too commercial during a game. I mean a team scores … commercial … they kick off … commercial … WHY! This is what I will implement. I will set aside 25% of the screen to a box where they can run commercials during kick returns, extra points, injury timeouts, and challenges. During this time, the announcers will not be allowed to talk and the station gets 3 minutes of uninterrupted commercial time. We get to watch the game continuously while sponsors get about an extra minute for commercial (Super Bowl commercials will be exempt from this rule).
  • Oh baseball. I am going to stay away from the obvious changes like instant replay and whether or not the DH rule should be in effect. Oh and let us not forget the ALL STAR game having any impact on the World Series. Nope, I am going to cause some controversy and hopefully piss off my dad at the same time. I am going to disband Tampa Bay and one other team like Toronto (KC also in the running). Tampa does not deserve that team, so let's give those players a chance to play for a fan base that appreciates them. The best part of this idea is we are going to do a draft for these players, only the order will be determined by salary. Yep, and those teams paying luxury tax because they are way overpaying players get their first round pick taken away as a punishment. Besides the fact that this will give the league even divisions, give a superstar a chance to take lower market teams to another level, and get rid of 2 horrible markets, but it will really mess with the Yankees. Really that's all the reasoning I would need to put this into effect.

Quick Revolution Strategies

Golf – No texting during the season.
Tennis – More girls' youth programs in Russia … give it time and there will be a payoff (Google: Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova)
Swimming – Sharks with lasers attached to their fricken 'heads … Will increase swimmer's times.
Boxing – No more weight classes. There is no one to fight anyways, so why the hell not?
UFC – No spandex shorts when grappling is involved.
WNBA – Play in smaller venues so it looks like people are showing up to watch them play.
College Football – Playoff system … not even a joke.
Cycling – Continue to allow cyclists to use steroids. Avoids the awkward podium picture with camel tail.



Source by Steven J Fata

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